Are you comparing yourself too much?

Thursday 5th March, 2026

My Dear Reader,

This morning I was reading an article about comparison, and I wanted to share some thoughts with you. The piece was telling me all about why we should stop “comparing ourselves,” and how confident people “never look sideways” because “they only compete with who they were yesterday.”

I don’t believe any of this for a moment.

And, here’s why. It is fundamentally human for us to compare ourselves with those around us. It is how we have always located ourselves in the tribe, and how we measure safety, relevance and proximity to influence. Long before LinkedIn comparison kept us alive, we scanned our group (of real humans) to understand where we stood and whether we were at risk of being left behind. This instinct has not disappeared simply because our arena is now digital.

As you know by now, I am confident in my work and deeply committed to it. I teach as many hours as the week allows, I continue to build and write because I care about empathy rising in our world, and I genuinely believe this work matters. To you and to us all. And yet, almost every week, I notice someone else’s momentum and feel that uncomfortable internal question begin to surface.

Am I good enough?Am I doing enough?Is what I am creating valuable enough?

Am I as successful as ‘that’ other person?

So yes, I compare. All the time. To who I was, to who I am becoming, and to you and the progress you may not even realise you are making. So, I suspect you are doing it too. And that’s ok.

Don’t believe the media, comparison does not mean you are insecure or ungrateful. It simply means that you are human and paying attention.

I guess the key is to have enough Self Empathy to always know when comparison is becoming self criticism because this will drains you. As long as it continues to be insight, it will guide you. It might highlight a skill that you want to practise, a standard you admire, or a part of your work that needs refinement, and sometimes it shows you nothing more than admiration, which is allowed to stay exactly that.

So if you notice yourself scanning this week, don’t judge yourself for it. Ask what it is pointing to and then adjust if you need to. I believe there is always something to learn.

We are wired to compare because we were born to be connected. We are also wired to keeping growing, so find ways to do both.

Until the next letter, in empathy,

Mimi

P.S If this is your first letter, The Empathy Letters are personal, simple, candid letters that prompt a new idea, share a strangers story, or simply offer some refreshed empathy in your week. Never a newsletter, these letters - similar to a ‘penpal’ of old - are from me to you, and I would love your letter in reply, every now and then.