I don’t think confidence is your problem

Tuesday 6th April, 2026

My Dear Reader,

April has arrived and the seasons are shifting again, and whilst the weather moves its energy, many of you are carrying the weight of conflict in ways that feel visible, persistent and 'impossible to believe' all at the same time. Whether it shows up in political decisions, war and social unrest, or in the more immediate realities of your own world through fuel prices, cancelled contracts, postponed events and the rising cost of business, the impact travels far, and it has a way of making everything feel just that little bit harder than it should. I know for me personally, this last month has been a rollercoaster of shifting goal posts and elevated budgets that quite honestly feel overwhelming at times. And then, in the middle of it all, I hear similar questions being asked, in different ways, across so many conversations; "am I doing the right thing at the right time?" "did I say too much, or not enough?" "did I misunderstand what the client wanted, or did they change their minds?"

It's so easy to feel completely lost in all the potential answers and I have been thinking about this as I build the Empathy Everywhere Collective. I have been spending time with women across different industries and life stages, and noticing a pattern. So many of you are these amazingly capable, thoughtful and deeply aware leaders and entreprenuers, and yet still you are questioning your confidence, your voice, and your place in the conversation, even when there is so much value already there. And the more I listen to you, the more I’m sure that confidence is actually not the problem at all. This doesn’t feel like a lack of ability, but something more relational, something that builds over time when you don’t feel fully heard. When you feel invisible or that your opinion doesn't matter, you begin, almost without noticing, to adjust yourself in response. Perhaps you soften your tone, shorten your thought, or stay quiet, not because you don’t have something to say, but because you are no longer entirely sure it will be received. 

For years you have been told that confidence comes from speaking more and taking up space, but when I reflect on the moments I have personally felt most sure of myself, it has never been because I was the loudest in the room but moreso because I felt connected or understood - because something I said clearly landed with those I was talking to. Those moments create evidence, and confidence always grows from there. This is why I keep coming back to listening, not as a technique, but as a way of being that shifts how we experience each other. When you truly listen, people open up, conversations deepen, and slowly, people begin to listen back, not because you have pushed yourself forward, but because you signalled that you were listening first. In this way, your ability to listen is your influence, your confidence and your point of difference - it wins you contracts and changes how many people say "yes". Especially in tough times when competition and nerves are endlessly high and humans everywhere (regardless of their title or rank) are so desperate to simply matter and be seen for who they are. 

So this week, I leave you with a small thought to carry: what might change for you if your question shifted from “how do I say this better?” to “how do I connect more deeply here?”

As I have been travelling this last year I have become entirely convinced that when connection grows, confidence follows. In the end, I don't think you don't need to worry about feeling more confident but instead focus on being more connected. And this comes from a series of small intentional actions to get there.

I wish you so much luck and patience in these weeks ahead, may peace find you all, both literally and figuratively as the month begins. If I can be of help, at any time, I am only a letter (or a reply) away.

Until the next letter, in empathy,
Mimi

P.S If this is your first letter, The Empathy Letters are personal, simple, candid letters that prompt a new idea, share a strangers story, or simply offer some refreshed empathy in your week. Never a newsletter, these letters - similar to a ‘penpal’ of old - are from me to you, and I would love your letter in reply, every now and then.