Why Empathy Is a Leadership Skill, Not a Personality Type

Empathy is still widely misunderstood in leadership conversations. Too often, it is described as something you either naturally have or do not, linked to personality, temperament, or emotional disposition. I believe this misconception has done real damage to how empathy is understood and applied in organisations and so today I set about changing this, daily. Empathy is not a personality trait but a skill set built into the pre frontal cortex of the brain. You were born with it but it’s up to you to choose to use it.

From a neurological perspective, empathy is a capability built into the human brain. It enables us to understand the perspectives, emotions, and realities of others. Like any skill, it can be strengthened through intention, practice, and training. When leaders recognise empathy as a skill rather than a trait, it becomes something that can be developed at scale rather than admired in a few.

Empathetic leadership does not require leaders to change who they are. It requires them to change how they listen, respond, and engage. This is a neurological reality they need to intentionally choose to embrace. And, to put the record straight, leaders do not need to ever become “more emotional”. This distinction matters because it removes empathy from the realm of personality or “soft skills” and places it firmly within the hard skill domain where it belongs. I believe empathy is a hard skill in all forms. Hard to find, hard to maintain and with hard business results (and 21% higher profits!)

Listening-Led Leadership is one of the most practical expressions of empathy as a skill. When leaders listen to understand rather than to reply, they actively practise empathy. This practice provides insight into motivation, pressure points, and opportunity. Over time, listening strengthens judgement and improves leadership effectiveness.

I have seen leaders resist empathy because they fear it will undermine authority or slow decision making. In reality, the opposite is true. Empathy improves clarity. Leaders who understand their people make faster, more accurate decisions because they are grounded in reality rather than assumption.

Neuroscience supports this. Empathy activates areas of the brain associated with social cognition and regulation, allowing leaders to navigate complexity with greater composure and insight. When empathy is absent, leaders rely more heavily on control and enforcement, which often increases resistance and disengagement.

Empathy as a leadership skill also supports consistency. Personality driven leadership can vary widely depending on mood or preference. Skill based empathy is intentional and repeatable. It shows up in how meetings are run, how feedback is delivered, and how conflict is handled. This consistency builds trust and strengthens culture.

Importantly, empathy does not dilute accountability. Leaders can understand perspectives while still holding people to high standards. Empathy informs how accountability is delivered, ensuring it is constructive rather than punitive. This balance improves performance and preserves dignity.

I believe the organisations that thrive will be those that stop treating empathy as an optional characteristic and realise that this is a core leadership capability. Before it’s too late. Because when empathy is trained, measured, and practised, it becomes a powerful driver of engagement, trust, and sustained performance. Empathy is not who you are. It is how you lead. And quite frankly, for most of us, we don’t have much of a choice if we want to compete in today’s times and bring our people with us.

About Mimi Nicklin:
Mimi Nicklin is a globally recognised keynote speaker, bestselling author, and Founder of Empathy Everywhere, working with organisations worldwide through leadership development, training, keynotes, masterclasses, and webinars. Recognised as the #1 Workplace Wellbeing leader, Mimi has reached over four million people globally through her work in empathetic leadership, listening, and Listening-Led Leadership, helping organisations strengthen employee engagement, workplace culture, and performance in complex, AI driven environments. Her work reframes empathy as a critical leadership capability grounded in neuroscience and applied through practical empathy training and organisational development. With a mission to reconnect one million people by 2028, Mimi Nicklin is emerging as one of the defining human leadership voices of this decade. Find out more via www.empathyeverywhere.co or [email protected]