Parenting Across Borders: How Empathy and Listening Sustain Connection To Children Study Abroad

For parents whose children choose to study or live abroad, long distance love becomes an unexpected and often unspoken chapter of family life. Many parents will recognise the moment of standing at an airport gate, waving goodbye to children who once filled the home with energy and noise, knowing that the relationship they share is about to change in ways that cannot be fully prepared for. Whether the move is for education, work, or opportunity, the emotional adjustment required on both sides is significant.

Distance reshapes connection. Conversations that once happened naturally now rely on time zones, technology, and brief windows of availability. In this new reality, misunderstandings can arise more easily, and feelings of loneliness can quietly take hold, both for parents and for children navigating unfamiliar environments far from home. I believe this is when parents are asked to tune in differently, to understand realities that exist well beyond their own daily routine, and to find new ways of staying connected without control or proximity.

Empathy plays a central role in this transition. Often misunderstood as something we are born with in fixed amounts, empathy is in fact an evolutionary skill we all possess, allowing us to understand the perspective of others even when their context is far removed from our own. For parents, this means learning to see the world through the eyes of their children, to understand their experiences, pressures, and emotions within a country or culture you may never personally experience yourself.

Empathy sits at the heart of what it means to be human, and it evolved to support both individual wellbeing and collective growth. At our core, we all share a fundamental need to feel seen and heard by those who matter to us. When this need is met, we experience greater emotional stability, stronger relationships, and even improved physical health. This is as true within families as it is anywhere else.

So how can parents cultivate empathy and maintain meaningful connection with children from afar?

Three habits for nurturing empathy across distance

1) Listen to understand
When speaking with your children, pause and reflect on the quality of your listening. Are you truly listening to understand their experience, or waiting for the moment to respond with advice or reassurance? Active listening creates safety and confidence. Simple reflections such as “what I am hearing you say is” can help your children feel understood while also ensuring you accurately grasp what they are sharing.

2) Tune into their emotional reality
During calls or messages, focus less on solving and more on understanding. Ask open questions, stay curious, and allow space for emotion without rushing to fix it. Imagining how their situation feels, rather than how you would handle it, allows deeper insight into their reality and strengthens trust.

3) Use presence intentionally on video calls
Much of our communication is nonverbal, even on screen. Pay attention to posture, eye contact, and openness. Leaning in slightly, keeping arms relaxed, and maintaining focused attention signals care and connection, even across thousands of miles.

Empathy may be one of the greatest gifts you can offer, and receive, within your family. It not only promotes connection and relationships but it actively supports our physiological health, reduces anxiety and boosts longevity.  As parents countrywide continue to navigate the turbulent reality of long distance love, making empathy part of your daily familial practice might just be the secret to long term success.

Check out other article: Why Empathy Became My Life’s Work

About Mimi Nicklin:

Mimi Nicklin is a bestselling author and the founder of Empathy Everywhere. As the world’s leading voice on Listening-Led Leadership, she has reached over 4M+ people by reframing empathy as a neuro-driven "hard skill" for the AI era. On a mission to reconnect one million professionals by 2028, Mimi works with global organizations to turn human connection into a measurable competitive advantage.

Connect: Email to Mimi | www.empathyeverywhere.co