What Are Some Common Misconceptions About Empathetic Leadership, and How Can Leaders Balance Empathy With Accountability?

As empathy continues to rise in prominence across leadership conversations (not a moment too soon, I might add!), it is still widely misunderstood as the skillset it really is. This is one of the reasons so many leaders struggle to apply empathetic leadership confidently and consistently, and it is why I often share the most common misconceptions I encounter when speaking in keynotes and leadership workshops around the world.

So, let’s start with number one. The most frequent misconception that I hear is that empathy is an emotion, similar to sympathy or pity, when in fact it is a skill set that we are all born with and one that is built into the prefrontal cortex of the brain. “Empathy is a skillset” I repeat worldwide. Simply put this means empathy is a leadership capability rooted in neuroscience, and not in personality, values or emotions. We are born with this skillset built into the pre-frontal cortex of our brains and like any skill, empathy can be strengthened through empathy training and leadership development. When it is applied consistently across organisations the data shows clear results, including 21% higher profitability, 68% stronger employee engagement, 51% less resignations, and more resilient workplace culture. After all, skills that improve understanding and decision making tend to improve performance too.

The second common assumption I hear is that empathy is gendered, with a belief that female leaders naturally possess more empathy than male leaders. I have seen that this belief limits leadership potential unnecessarily, because really empathy is a human capability we all share. Empathetic leadership is not about who you are, but how intentionally you listen, understand perspective, and respond to context. There is no gender or DNA skew to our ability to use empathy as a social and human currency. 

Thirdly, and perhaps the most damaging misconception, is that empathy weakens accountability. In fact, it strengthens it. Many leaders worry that being empathetic means lowering standards or prioritising feelings over results, when truly the opposite is true. Empathy is about understanding and leveraging your human data and insight. There are no areas of our business that therefore don’t do better when we use it. Data always equals intelligence. This is a skill used in high stakes environments such as crisis response and FBI negotiation, precisely because it helps people stay focused, clear, and outcome driven under pressure.

Listening-Led Leadership offers a clear way to balance empathy with performance. When leaders listen to understand, they gain better insight into challenges, motivation, and risk, which allows them to set clearer expectations and hold teams accountable more effectively. Every month, around the globe, I see leaders who combine empathy with listening to build higher trust over time, and trust is what sustains engagement, innovation, and consistent results.

The leaders that succeed most sustainably are those who remain curious about the people around them. Commitment to a team does not require elaborate initiatives or corporate events, but a shift towards everyday leadership behaviours that value listening, understanding, and presence. In a world facing rising disconnection, empathetic leadership is no longer optional. It is both the greatest challenge and the greatest opportunity facing modern leaders today.

Check out other article: How Can Leaders Actively Cultivate Presence?

About Mimi Nicklin:

Mimi Nicklin is a bestselling author and the founder of Empathy Everywhere. As the world’s leading voice on Listening-Led Leadership, she has reached over 4M+ people by reframing empathy as a neuro-driven "hard skill" for the AI era. On a mission to reconnect one million professionals by 2028, Mimi works with global organizations to turn human connection into a measurable competitive advantage.

Connect: Email to Mimi | www.empathyeverywhere.co